Sunday, June 29
Shit... Lots of things haven't do and it's already SUNDAY!!! Argh... Haven't finish studying Physics, have this notion to just go unprepared... Test my "real" skills, but actually nothing to test coz there's no real skills... Chiam... Haiz...
Down with stupid flu again... Somehow when hols are ending, I get myself sick... Ran a fever last night at Heli's house, wasted the night away... Slept like pig when I came back, from 1 all the way to 7... Still having a headache and a bad cough... Half watching Cai Hua Hen Yi and typing this, but I guess I am giving up TV to sleep later... Haiz... Why do I have school and exam tomorrow?!?! I don't mind school, but exams sucks... Haiz... Nothing to say except to grumble and grumble... Argh...
Ohh, last night Ven, Apple, Heli, Cai and Jay tried 5 different kinds of beer and wine, including one which was 8.8% alcohol... The rest were all about 6%... It was practically trying to get yourself drunk... Surprisingly, I liked the 8.8% one, at least it's got more taste, something like Coke, just with alcohol added... Despite Ven's nagging not to drink in my sick state, I drank quite a lot... Nice wat, cannot meh??
Posted by Isabelle at 8:34 pm
Friday, June 27
HI! THIS IS THE LONGEST SURVEY YOU'LL EVER FILL OUT! COPY AND PASTE THIS. FILL IT OUT AND SEND IT TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS! SEND IT BACK TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU, DO THIS BECAUSE THE PERSON SENDING IT TO U DIDN'T SIT HERE FOR AGES ALL FOR NOTHING. ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS HONESTLY... NO LYING TO AVOID STUFF!
TIME START: 5.55pm, Friday... Nice number arh??
A LITTLE ABOUT YOU: Eh, trying to download things... But kinda slow...
FULL NAME: Tsan Xinning Isabelle
BIRTHDAY: 4 July 86 (realise it's actually cuming soon??)
AGE: 17 this year but not yet
BORN: singapore
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Eh, cum to think of it... cockroaches and spiders... (dun ever, ever luff...)
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES?? used to wear contacts, but my eye start to get infected...
YOUR PERFECT MAN/WOMAN: can't describe...
EMBARRASING MOMENT: hmm... eh... a lot lor, dunnoe when to start...
FUTURE KIDS' NAME(S): y would anyone wanna think about that now?? haha...
YOUR BEST FRIEND(S): oh yah, ur shud noe lar... xin, ven, heli, guan, the gang... a lot to name noe...
SIBLINGS: none... (ain't you jealous?? haha...)
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR FAMILY? duh...
EVER HATED A PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY: nah, y wud i??
[[+FAVOURITE..........+]]
ICE CREAM: eh, chocolate and mint...
VEGETABLE: hmm... (brussels sprouts!! not!!)
FAST FOOD: mac and bk.. (i seem to be fated to eat bk...)
ALCOHOL: no preferences...
DRINK: coke??
MOVIE: MATRIX!!!!
TV PROGRAMME: used to be XIAO BAO!!... but now dun haf...
ACTOR & ACTRESS: no preferences... i dun even watch much tv...
BANDS/SINGER: jay (no, i am not toking abt aw yong!!)...
PLACE TO VISIT: anywhere in europe
COLOURS: blue... quite expected lar... see my taste in clothes...
JEWELLERY: ... i dun even wear...
SPORTS: eh, badminton??
ANIMAL: dogs...
BRAND OF SHOES: no particular brand... just buy wat i like... but maybe more towards nike...
CAREER: not confirm... but teacher?? maybe...
SHAMPOO: pantene
SOAP: lux
DAY/NIGHT: hmm... no preferences... the time's still ticks anyway...
SUMMER/WINTER: winter u get to see snow...
SUBJECT: eh, used to b chem, but now i suck at it... so... maybe maths lar...
LACE/SATIN: wat's the diff??
WHO KNOWS ALL OF YOUR SECRETS: ME MYSELF AND I
WHO DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF UR LIFE WITH: can't make up my mind...
[[+ HAVE YOU EVER........+]]
LOVED SOME1 SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY: hmm... maybe...
SKINNY DIPPED? ...?? what's tat??
PLAYED STRIP POKER? ohh... hehe... no...
PLAYED TRUTH OR DARE? duh, who hasn't??
FLASHED SOMEONE? ... dumb question...
MOONED SOMEONE: ...?? dun seem to understand qn...
KISSED SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW? why would i do tat??
BEEN IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT? nah, unless u count me kicking a guy in the shins...
BEEN IN A POLICE CAR? nah... mi good citizen...
BEEN IN A PLANE? duh, if not how to see my dad??
COME CLOSE TO DYING? ya study until wan to die lar!! but seriously, nah...
CHEATED ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER? nah...
BEEN IN A SAUNA? nah... so hot... can't stand it...
IN A HOT TUB? nope
IN THE OCEAN? nah, unless u mean wading at the beach...
CRIED: duh, din u cry when u were a baby??
CUT YOUR HAIR: duh, unless u wan your hair to be 17 years old...
WORN A SKIRT: u count school skirt??
BEEN MEAN: duh...
MET SOMEONE NEW: duh, unless u dun wanna survive in school...
TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: duh...
MISSED SOMEONE: duh...
HUGGED SOMEONE: duh... we all do in graduation day...
WISHED UPON A STAR: nah, i think it's quite stupid... oops...
LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: luff until peng... yes... duh, with my bunch of frens, who wouldn't??
WATCHED A SUNRISE/SUNSET: tried to, but it wasn't a very nice one...
SPENT QUALITY TIME ALONE: always...
READ A BOOK FOR FUN: always...
HOW ARE YOU TODAY? not too bad...
ARE YOU WEARING YOUR PYJAMAS: i dun wear pyjamas
ARE YOU TALKING TO SOMEONE ONLINE? nope... should i??
ABORTION? eh... duh, no...
CLASSICAL? wat's the question about??
SOAP OPERAS? ??
AEROPLANE? yah, the longest was 5 hrs...
AMUSEMENT PARKS? the only ride i'll take is the bumper car...
[[+ WHAT IS............+]]
YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM? dun believe in one...
YOUR BEDROOM LIKE? i share with my mum...
CRUSH? dun have one at the moment...
YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? eh... i kinda treasure everything i haf... so they are equal in status... but i spend more time wif my com...
[[+HAVE YOU EVER HAD........../ARE YOU A......+]]
GOOD STUDENT? eh... i've never gotten into serious trouble, i dun play truent, i hand in hw...
GOOD ACTOR/ACTRESS? eh, i can't act...
GOOD DANCER? eh, i can't dance either...
GOOD STORYTELLER?: eh, i can't talk too...
STITCHES? ya... when i run too much...
HAD A NOSE BLEED? ya, can't count the number of times...
CANCER? touch wood!!
SURGERY? nope...
SOMEONE BESIDES YOUR FAMILY SAY THEY LOVE YOU? ...
SOMEONE PUNCH YOU? more like i punch some one else...
[[+DO YOU........+]]
WET THE BED? ... -_-"'... eh... eh...
COLLECT ANYTHING? nar... can't seem to keep track of what i collect... in the end, i give up...
LIKE TO SING?: eh... but out of tune...
LIKE TO SHOP? eh... maybe... but once in a while...
LIKE PARTIES? yup...
GET INTO TROUBLE A LOT? no lar... mi no ap k??
[[+WOULD YOU......+]]
EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION $$$? HELL NO!! NOT EVEN IF YOU GIVE ME A BILLION ZILLION $$$$
GO TO A HANSON CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET: whose's that band??
SOMETHING PIERCED? ears??
KILL SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW FOR 15 BILLION DOLLAR?? nah, it's a sin...
NE1 OFFERED YOU A SMALL PART IN A MOVIE WOULD YOU ACCEPT? can, but i can't act lor...
TIME FINISHED: 6.25pm
Posted by Isabelle at 6:33 pm
Wa... Blogger change new look!! Aniway, your also wun see it wat... Hehe... Just came back from studying at compass point... Didn't get alot in though... Oh yah, is anyone going for tomorrow's steamboat at Marina?? Hmm, I noe dis is last minute and pple are desperately trying to get hw and study done, but last time at least?? Hehe... and after the steamboat, saturday nite who's gonna stay at Heli's hse??
Posted by Isabelle at 5:46 pm
Wednesday, June 25
Wa, the most wasting time day... Had stupid PW with my members... Went to do survey... Then end up playing pool... Gave up and decided to take the remaining home to pass to people... Either that or we fake the survey forms... Dumb rite?? haha... aiya, all of us so slacker... bo pian... haha... Went out at 9.15 and came to home at 6pm... Nap time...
Posted by Isabelle at 9:20 pm
Tuesday, June 24
The most outrageous, no, second most outrageous shopping spree I had today... It's been a long time since I bought a dress...!!! Arh!! And I actually really, REALLY like that dress... Haha... But when to wear it?? Eh, good question... Cannot anyhow wear, scarcely pple xia dao how cum i suddenly wear dress... haha... but wear only once very bo hua lar... hehe...
Started out at 1pm at PS... But turned out that we suddenly lost interest in Samuel & Kevin's pants... Decided to head for Far East... So far... but we trekked anyway, with some, no a lot of stopovers at the following places: Robinson Shopping Centre, where we bought bras... (Can you imagine, the guys had to wait for us like about 1 hr!!!) Heeren, actually wanted to eat sakae, but too many pple...
Finally reached Far East at around 4, and the phrase's is "shopped till we dropped"... haha... Jinglin was so frantic about finding clothes other than "those you wear inside"... haha... den ven so pek chek with cass about her liking every thing she sees... den everytime lose pple here and there...haha... But had fun aniway...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:47 pm
Monday, June 23
Had TREMENDOUS fun with my ex-class, 4e1. It was so cool!! I think it was really a good gathering tonight. We had steamboat at Marina Bay. Somehow when you think of gatherings, you think of Marina Bay… Play pool and bowled before dinner, and realized that I haven’t felt this close with my classmates. The bonds with them seem to strengthen with each gathering. Amidst all, were feelings of nostalgia and everything… Missed the times we had with each other, miss the moments when we studied together, missed the things we did… Sec 4 was really a memorable period of fun and more fun.
If only I could turn back time…
Posted by Isabelle at 11:22 pm
Hehe... a bit siao today, den summore long time no write compo... so write a bit paste here...
Remembering old times, the bittersweet memories never seem to be away at all. Translucent pictures interweave between each other, each telling a different story. Laugher and cries and angry and disappointment surround us, as flitting as yesterday’s paper, but yet never forgotten. Family we were, family we are, and family we will be. The ironies of life hold us in our stride and guide us along one path and many forks. Though we may soon regret what we have or have not done, it fills us with ample more opportunities. Treasure what you have and what you don’t have.
Days in council never seem days, more like minutes, flowing away as though sand on a beach. The hourglass swooshes, and yet another event has come and gone, only leaving evidence of its passing in memory lane. Should we walk upon the yellow brick road, we would chance meeting ghosts of the past, the present and the probable future. Satisfying, you would say, to watch the past come alive. Never would those times be more treasured when we look back as we walk forward. Can these times be measured? Only when time itself doesn’t exist, and until then these memories are priceless.
Posted by Isabelle at 12:12 pm
Sunday, June 22
Wa, talked with Heli about SL stuff… Caoz… Feel so MUCH about the things that are happening in council... Zuhui and Freddy aren't working like they should, lots of internal conflict in the group... People aren't working with each other... It's crazy...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:38 am
Don't mind me saying, but I find as years go by, the batches get more and more immature... I can't deny we were immature then, but surely we had more initiative and more sense... At least we knew how to look at the big picture... And we knew how to put down personal vendetta when situations arise. (I am talking more on council here...) It's amazing, no horrifying, to see people saying in the interview that "I will serve the council and put council at my highest priority." Bullshit. That was the crappiest thing I've ever heard... We don’t want to hear empty promises. By any chance have you done what you have promised? Have you ever thought about what you really did for council selflessly? When doing any project for council, did you do it only for the sake of just CCA points, or wanting to seek fame? It's irritating to see selfish people doing it only for some personal gain... Worse of all, you enter the council just to seek a badge and a name... Caoz...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:37 am
Just think about it, the previous batches were very successful... Especially Jun Jie and Fadilah that batch... Their success formula?? Nothing much, just a lot of teamwork and they don't hang their dirty linen in public... Have you heard anything negative about them? Not much right, in fact almost none. They do quarrel with each other, they are humans too. But one thing is that they keep it behind closed doors. Come on, save some face for yourself and council. Of course, having a lot of initiative doesn't hurt... Can you see anything resembling that particular batch?? None at all... (Here, I am stereotyping everyone... don't blame me if I wronged you, too bad you were just with this batch...) The council members argues about any petty little thing and blows the whole picture up... Then they spread the word around to other non-members, inevitably making them look bad... It's just because they refuse to look at the whole picture... It's always that small little corner of their own... Never have I seen them try fixing the whole picture together... Is it that difficult? I don't understand...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:36 am
I just can’t see why we can’t emulate them… To be fair, this batch, by intellectual comparison, is so much better than previous batch. But obvious they haven’t gotten any sense. We don’t want just good behaviour and good results, but we want a group with can, without pushing, work well and play well in a team. Perhaps we can’t blame the younger batches for not knowing what to do when something crops up, the older batches just didn’t teach them (we auto-assumed they knew what to do). Sad case is that when they took over, they knew nuts about anything and just blew up.
Posted by Isabelle at 11:34 am
But why aren't we maturing as we proceed with life in council?? Why is everything at a standstill, or backsliding?? Why are these things happening in council?? Why didn't our batch picked a more mature group of people?? Or were we too sure that everyone would mature as they join council?? Could we have done better?? Was it just themselves to blame, or were we too rash in picking members?? I can't answer these endless questions...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:34 am
Something's just not right... Vice-president's not cooperating with the president (by right that’s his job, even though he hates the president. He’s only further proving that he can’t team play)... The president himself isn't making a good effort to take initiative to clear up the mess here... Where's the secretary?? The two vice head prefects’ aren't doing anything constructive... The head prefect's barely surviving sandwiched between council and the board... Is everyone not trying?? Or have they just given up?? Don't just say, "I am stepping down, whatever's going to happening won't affect me." Nonsense. When you step down, wouldn't you want to step down in honour instead of leaving the SL in such a miserable state?? Only further proves you aren’t as good as what you said you were in the interview... Such hypocrites...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:34 am
Thursday, June 19
Hey, can confirm who's going for ah ven's bday thingy?? 21st june at chomp chomp, 5 pm... pls comment to say you going... thanks...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:26 am
Tuesday, June 17
Talking to a very old time fren... not exactly very old time fren, but old enough lar... at least from sec 2... hmm, still feels a lot for this guy, and talking to him really let memories flow... haven't felt this way in a long time... we don't talk often, so i actually treasure the times together... i think of all the times spent in sec 2, i feel most for this relationship... dunnoe why, but it feels... special... aiya, it's different lar... can't explain much... you haf to experience it yourself at that particular time...
still talking...
Posted by Isabelle at 12:02 am
Monday, June 16
Hmm... just figured the way to celebrate ah ven's birthday... hu's going?? any comments on her birthday plans?? mi counting on heli to pull people..
Posted by Isabelle at 10:26 pm
Argh... it's been a not-so-fruitful day, I didn't get much done... Went to the national library, use microfilm and came back very soon... haiz... spent whole day at home slacking...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:15 pm
Sunday, June 15
Hey,it's a good Sunday morning and I am slacking at this super cool cafe down City Link. (Ain't you envious, Ven?) Haha... Anyway, later going to national library to do major PW research (haiz) and to recoup what I lost on the piece of important paper. It's just so careless of me to lose that precious paper afterso much hard work... My group members are gonna kill me if they ever knew. So have to secretly redo the whole thing lor... Sianz...
Just msged heli this morning to prepare for Ven's birthday. Can't post much of that though, coz just in case Ven cums in to look at this (but usually she won't give a damn). I hope to finish this as fast as possible..
Posted by Isabelle at 11:52 am
Saturday, June 14
chiam... yesterday went crazy write gp essay... shit...
Posted by Isabelle at 1:57 pm
Friday, June 13
Today, I'm gonna talk of things I've never wanted or tried to say. I think it's gonna be a lot of rambling, but it's good to spit it out. Hmm, let's start with myself. Never thought much about my actions. Did what I felt was right, even thought I might have hurt a few (okay, a lot) people's feelings. It's not on purpose, though. Never meant to hurt anyone, except those I actually wanted to intentionally do big suanning on. Maybe too zui ying xin luan. Or maybe not? Eh, can't seem to explain more than just plain words. Nah, maybe can't even may zui ying. or do I seem too cool and aloof? Tried to, only succeeded to acquire more "kan bu shuang wo" pple. Haiz. It's life for a teen.
Hmm, tried a lot of ways to be myself, can't. Strong waves of influence crash over me, and it's irresistable. Friends are this very big part of my life, cannot be without them. Perhaps it's just me without siblings, tat's why. It only made me more independant and reliant at the same time. Ironic? I don't think so. I think I am speaking in circles, but I think I can lay out my feelings better this way. Complexity is such of man, ain't it? The personality course I went to had a major influence to what I am typing now, but it's all quite true. You appear as masks in your own society, unable to reveal yourself. You appear just how you think people want to see you. It's not neccessarily you. Your inner self only shows when you no longer control your emotions, maybe when you are angry. All it needs is a trigger.
We all react differently to different things, the instructor told me. We don't and can't react to things solely based on your masks. Your lifelong cultivation comes into play. Your experiences, your attractions, for our age, peers. But fear plays the most important part. Complicated cycle of activities. Nothing's simple. A gesture can mean a lot of things. People either subconsciously or purposely read too much or too little. Does it matter? Of course. You don't start a war without the "concrete evidence" from over-reading things. To gain power? Maybe. But it all begins with fearing that by being small, you get pushed over. Fear. It's the main factor.
Am I talking too much? Does it sound crappy to you? It's the fear of rejection. You want to be part of the circle, yet you want to retain your individuality. Too much of yourself, you are too out. Too into the circle, you lose yourself in the midst. Balance? Not a simple task. It's very tiring to keep up. Very tiring. By typing these things, I fear that others might see me as trying to act mature, but it's not. It's just me. Do we have to keep fearing? We are fearing all the time.
Can't we do something about it? Not as long as we live. Humans are mammals -- We probably won't change for another billion years. I am just trying to voice my opinions. Ignore as you wish.
Posted by Isabelle at 10:11 pm
Now slacking at yx's house... (Ha, told you I am gonna do major slacking!!) The dialogue begins...........
Y: yo Yo!!!
B: Wa, very formal hoh...
Y: actually i dun know wad to write, so thinking of wad to crap abt...hey, ding dong, think of sumthing leh...
B: Quite sianz hoh... oso dunnoe wat to do.. forget to bring my ps along...
Y: so pai sei i spoilt your controllerS
B: ... No s lar... no serious lar...
Y: i think as days pass, u look more and more like su yong kang, heheZzz...
B: You wan to chui me cut hair arh? haha... wait lar... nxt wk...
Y: nvm, i cut for u. cheap cheap good good last long long and look nice nice!!!!
B: no wan.. not standard wan... haha...
Y: (in case u people dun know, we two r sitting silently in front of the screen typing...)
B: ... (chiam, suddenly we is the very nothing to sae...)
Y: ???!!!!??!!!
B: Wa, really nothing to sae... den we take turn put punctuation marks.... haha...
Y: maybe we can sing the xinmin school song!!! ah huh!! xinmin~~ xinmin~~ wo men yao zou she hui de zhu ren~~~... miss it man
B: -_-"'~~...
Y: k lar, i know this is getting boring, just wan to wish everyone happy everyday!!! though this is simple, but from the bottom of my ? heart
B: wat heart?? haha... kk lar, this is really getting lamez...
Y: wait!!! what duh, it is not simple to be happy everyday one leh (hint hint: heli, get wad i mean??)
B: heli, so sad, even yx is hinting at you... haha... shows sumthing siaz... hahah... kk lar, stopping here... wish everyone gd luck... and happy alwaes...
Y: people, do remember to try to stay good and happy!!! byebye...
Posted by Isabelle at 6:03 pm
Friday, June 6
Hey, ain't you glad holidays are finally here? I am, (Thank God!!) and never felt so relaxed in my life. Gonna do major going out and major slacking and major studying and major sleeping!!! Argh!!! (Dark rings form around my eyes...) Still got a lot of work to do though, PW's taking up a big chuck of my hols... and I have to face my irritating members, (well, at least they dun have Serious Attitude Problem... Whew...) and argue with the perfectionist guy and the domineering guy... Life's tough with me being the leader and having to cope with two Male Chauvinistic Pigs... Haha, the perfect phrase to describe the two... Wonder if we would ever finish our project... Haiz... The problems of hols... Oh well, the world's too imperfect to have a perfect holiday...
Posted by Isabelle at 6:13 pm
Tuesday, June 3
Hey, I am gonna devote this part of my blog to praise heli, and to encourage the o-level students k? Hmm...
To Heli:
Hey, little kid (i think i m finally old enuff to call you tat... hehe..) you have done an excellent job k? I know u heard this so, so many times it feels like you are listening to a tape recorder, but i think u are not far from what yixin has achieved k? Never say give up (I know u wun, but it's just mi trying to nag at you...) and be who you are, not what others wanna see you k? o levels coming, so i am trying to type in proper ENGLISH... haha... Anyway, can't say much, coz i've already depleted my supply of "What I wanna say to Heli's words" and I guess there's not much to say liaoz... Oopz... omit the "liaoz" k? I can already feel mrs lee screaming!! Gd luck!!
To the rest (you know who u are),
It's just not me to picture a day I see your taking the same examination (O's). My god, can't even imagine how I got through it. But i did. It was painless, pathetic, and no panic at all. Really, somehow, what your are feeling are just anxiousness that will soon fade once you are ready to face the papers. Trust the person who has gone through this, like me?? Hehe... Come on, Xinmin is after all famous for it's results. One very, very, VERY IMPORTANT note k, must always ALWAYS listen in class, and sleep early. u might think it's useless, but it's damn effective, k? Fine, mi sound like old grandma liaoz.. Just wanna wish ur gd luck!!
Posted by Isabelle at 7:04 pm
Monday, June 2
Hey, school's finishing in barely a week, and I CAN'T wait man... Anticipation kills, but school kills more... But once holiday starts, it's pia exams time... Haiz... Dun say the sec 4s arh, we J1s also got... Common test... Wa... Anyway, the hols a good time to relax, and I can't believe I am badly needing the stupid break... Yah, stupid sars, stupid 12-day break, not really a break at all... Okay, fine... cut the crap... Life's fine, school sucks, homework's piling... get the idea why i need the break???
Posted by Isabelle at 11:00 pm